and of promises and closing your eyes on the truth

The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul. ~ Alexandra Stoddard

Do i still have the joyful soul? The Alexandra Stoddard quote doesn't seem to apply to me now. Sigh. Getting tired. Almost surrendering. But still, I find this world interesting enough. More corners to explore,more beautiful souls to meet, more experiences to encounter. And perhaps more trying experiences and difficult persons to learn from.

So I'm not exempt--I'm given a cross too, and it's pretty heavy like how others are complaining about theirs. So life is fair; just like everyone I have a burden too, something to slow me down from all the hurrying up...

But can't I just pick another cross this time? I don't like lying, I want to be true in all that I do, because I've been so free before. And I'm pretty certain that a wee bit of lying today will add up to more lies later. I'm like choked, imprisoned... I have a key though; I have a choice so I can always get out...

But I promised...