and of promises and closing your eyes on the truth

The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul. ~ Alexandra Stoddard

Do i still have the joyful soul? The Alexandra Stoddard quote doesn't seem to apply to me now. Sigh. Getting tired. Almost surrendering. But still, I find this world interesting enough. More corners to explore,more beautiful souls to meet, more experiences to encounter. And perhaps more trying experiences and difficult persons to learn from.

So I'm not exempt--I'm given a cross too, and it's pretty heavy like how others are complaining about theirs. So life is fair; just like everyone I have a burden too, something to slow me down from all the hurrying up...

But can't I just pick another cross this time? I don't like lying, I want to be true in all that I do, because I've been so free before. And I'm pretty certain that a wee bit of lying today will add up to more lies later. I'm like choked, imprisoned... I have a key though; I have a choice so I can always get out...

But I promised...

no, i'm not referring to work...

Whoever said that I'm one energizer bunny is wrong. Well, now I think he/she is. I also thought I was then, and even went the extent of once bragging that I could outrun, outswim, outsmart, most a number of my male friends. But now that I think about it, I could never beat a big bass drum like that bright pink toy did.

And unlike the young rabbit, I am now tired... Even feeling that I'm near to falling apart. Maybe that's what the very sudden move to an unfamiliar turf gives me, what with the change from the peaceful, but sometimes boring, trodden path, to the crazy, demanding but sightly superhighway. Why didn't somebody warn me that something this wonderful could suck one's energy?

Ga, tell me that I am just adjusting, that exhaustion is typical of those new to traversing this path. Say you'll soothe my sore and aching muscles from all the driving (and walking when we run out of fuel). Assure me that in no time I'll be back to the energizer bunny that I have been, Ray-Ban sunglasses and all. Tell me all these because now I'm asking myself if I made the right choice.