a milestone

We've started praying together. I think it's a good sign.

and of promises and closing your eyes on the truth

The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul. ~ Alexandra Stoddard

Do i still have the joyful soul? The Alexandra Stoddard quote doesn't seem to apply to me now. Sigh. Getting tired. Almost surrendering. But still, I find this world interesting enough. More corners to explore,more beautiful souls to meet, more experiences to encounter. And perhaps more trying experiences and difficult persons to learn from.

So I'm not exempt--I'm given a cross too, and it's pretty heavy like how others are complaining about theirs. So life is fair; just like everyone I have a burden too, something to slow me down from all the hurrying up...

But can't I just pick another cross this time? I don't like lying, I want to be true in all that I do, because I've been so free before. And I'm pretty certain that a wee bit of lying today will add up to more lies later. I'm like choked, imprisoned... I have a key though; I have a choice so I can always get out...

But I promised...

no, i'm not referring to work...

Whoever said that I'm one energizer bunny is wrong. Well, now I think he/she is. I also thought I was then, and even went the extent of once bragging that I could outrun, outswim, outsmart, most a number of my male friends. But now that I think about it, I could never beat a big bass drum like that bright pink toy did.

And unlike the young rabbit, I am now tired... Even feeling that I'm near to falling apart. Maybe that's what the very sudden move to an unfamiliar turf gives me, what with the change from the peaceful, but sometimes boring, trodden path, to the crazy, demanding but sightly superhighway. Why didn't somebody warn me that something this wonderful could suck one's energy?

Ga, tell me that I am just adjusting, that exhaustion is typical of those new to traversing this path. Say you'll soothe my sore and aching muscles from all the driving (and walking when we run out of fuel). Assure me that in no time I'll be back to the energizer bunny that I have been, Ray-Ban sunglasses and all. Tell me all these because now I'm asking myself if I made the right choice.

excuse me but i got stung by the love bug

Not long after you met me, you made up your mind that I was the one.
I was surprised at your swift decision but
eventually you've got me believing in destiny.
You showed me how our names have been inscribed in
each other's heart before we even met.

Now I see that there is no one else I want to be. So I've decided it's you that I'll be spending the rest of my life with...No matter what life brings us.

Let's abandon those doubts and fears because we are meant to be together, and with God's blessings, forever.

teecee: the first time you made me cry

you were still half-way with your life story but i was already crying my heart out. your past let me understand how you sometimes have insecurity and self-pity attacks. i wanted to hug you but the phone is just what connected us, so i tried to convince you, in between sobs, that everything will be okay from now on. that i will always be here, that i won't be leaving you.

and yes, i'll be spending more time with my family and i will always tell and show them that i love them so much...

your parents, wherever they are right now, are surely proud of you.

it's friday, i'm in...

july 25, 2008
12:24 a.m.

photo by: http://em0boy.deviantart.com/

tzarness

How Did You Know
by GaryV

I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile

My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine

CHORUS

How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there was an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life

I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you

wake up, boy!

we try to close our eyes and together dream. dream that there is an "us" and everyone is thrilled of us together.

so we make plans that later encompass forever. ain't eternity too hopeful?

but i can't keep my eyes shut with the bright light outside.

so i wake up and noticed a soul waiting to weep.

tee cee

At what I thought was just one those friendly dates over a McDo meal, you suddenly babbled at how you've been so happy since you met me, how you did not regret crossing the seas to take up a task that you weren't excited about, and how you can't let that time pass without telling me how I have unexpectedly touched your life.

Whoaa, you're too fast! How can you say that if we've met just three days ago? Okay, okay, we've crossed paths before but I can't even remember the occasion.

You believe in signs, you answered back and pointed them out to me: we met in church, our names sounded the same, we both took up law, loved arnis, are fond of jogging, and share quite a number of interests. I am even like a member of your aunt's family. Then you wonder how can you be asked to do a task with me when that task wasn't your kind of thing? Of all the people who could be paired up with me, why were you just plucked out of the many who could do a much better job? You asked as if you still don't have your answer to that. This is meant to be, you then concluded.

And I kept silent because I remembered hearing before that you have a girlfriend. I waited for you to mention it, half-hoping you'll say it didn't work out between you two.

We must be soul mates, you continued as I try to keep from laughing.

I almost rolled my eyes from all the mushiness, but all I was able to do was give a try at covering your eyes because I can't already take your unblinking gaze.

You looked so serious; so masterful of the script, if there was one. But still, no mention of the girlfriend.

And because I don't believe in everything you said, I told you to wait. I don't easily fall, I said and added experience tells me to think things over before deciding. Give me time, I asked while thinking of the Sara Bareilles lyrics, "It's too soon to see, if I'm happy in your hands."

And of course, I have yet to research about the girlfriend.


You said you'll wait but hoped it will be soon.

A day passed and you're back home already missing me.
A day passed and I got a confirmation about the girlfriend. And I know her...

idea alert

Cameras in places where government services are provided!

so as to:

• prevent government employees from slacking on the job; and

• keep incidents like this from happening.

just a thought...

There should be T.V. ads that show bloody accidents resulting from not following traffic rules (there may already be abroad but I have yet to see one in the Philippines).

Yeah bloody, horrible, gory, gruesome consequences for being irresponsible motorists. Pedestrians too!

Because as I see from the stupid driver I chanced upon this morning, he doesn't have a clue how much misfortune he'll bring to himself and others just because he doesn't want to be late for work and no traffic enforcer was present. If there were these violent ads and he have seen them many times, he surely would think more than twice before speeding past a red light. He may even later equate red light with blood.

The T.V. ads may not really feature real people and gore, stick-figure animation will do -- they're cute and will get the point across.

Few Things I Learned Over The Weekend

• A company with offices at some sleek building in the city's prime business center doesn't mean it's better off than the firm that can't give you your own work station.

• Be careful what you wish for, you might get it faster than you thought possible.

• House plants make beautiful pets. And you won't even have to worry about their scratching the furniture.

• Pots/containers for house plants have drainholes and may come with a free dish.

• One of the best places to hang out is at that bamboo bench just outside my apartment, at mid- to late-afternoon.

• Bell peppers aren't for everyone.

coffeehouse music genre

I recently am hooked to the coffeehouse music genre, although I really don't know what differentiates that sound to other types of music that I am fond of. It was actually Yahoo! Music that told me that I've been hiding under a rock and there's a cool genre called "The Coffeehouse." Oh, well.

Goggling led me to an article by Paul Landmaker, at the suite101 Web site, about his take of the genre. Here's an excerpt of his post:

At times, your eyes go shut and you smile as you wallow in the sounds. It's got a pleasantly anesthetic quality about it. [T]he music and its atmosphere is almost like an aural drug.

The vocalists sing like they're only singing to you. They're not trying to dress up their voices with gimmicks.... They seem to make their music for the sake of its beauty or artistic qualities. They're not out to please their audience, marketers nor anyone else, but themselves.

This is comfort music, but not the soft and cuddly sort.... In this sort of music lies real art -- ear candy, if you will. If you want to find the artists in a town, go down to the coffeehouses. If they're not there, you'll at least get really close to finding them.... It's not so much that it's where they play, but it's the artistic qualities associated with coffeehouses.

So the keywords are pleasantly anesthetic, real art, no gimmicks, and comfort. No wonder I'm liking it. More coffeehouse music please.

my first few steps to becoming a cook

In my wish to be good at cooking, I have:

1. Bought a White-Westinghouse, three-burner gas range plus oven. I wasn't sure if it was a good choice but my brother said the appliance was more than okay especially with the few surprise features we found when we got a much closer look of it at home. I chose it because it was just priced right for my pocket.
2. Bought new kitchenwares -- a rectangular glass bakeware for pasta dishes and ice-box cakes, a non-stick pan because our old frying pan looks quite a mess, wooden spoons, and a whisk.
3. Cooked my first-ever pancit bam-i, stir-fried noodles popular in the Visayas part of the Philipines. I swear it was yummy, but I think I could have done better if I added in slices of chicken liver.
4. Tried my hand in humba, a type of Filipino pork stew. I wasn't so proud of the result (read: won't rely on Internet recipes again), but still the neighbors gobbled them all up.
   

I'm enjoying this new hobby and I bet my neighbors are happier too. The downside of this, however, is I'm gaining some pounds. I can even see a little bulge in my tummy now! Got to grab my running shoes again and get back to the track.

scribbling while waiting...

Was that guilt I saw in your eyes? Was that a tinge of jealousy I felt?


Now, is that your move to win me back? Can you see the glint of triumph under my glasses?

Look closely.

first things first -- not exactly in that order

I got tons of ideas, I'm bogged down with so many plans, I want to pursue a myriad of things, but now I can't even remember half of them. Maybe I should start with remembering each; make a list, to remind myself.

I want to write, paint, design (from swimsuits to houses), learn Photoshop, bake my favorite cookies and cakes, cook perfect pasta, master swimming, scuba dive, drive! I'd like to go into business -- something to do with local travel, a swimsuit line, or perhaps something online-related .

I bet I wouldn't be a bad computer engineer; and I think it would be neat to be an architect, or add myself into the pool of the country's nurses, or maybe a surgeon like my father. Would that be too late or too far-out for a 30-year old C.P.A? Shouldn't I find myself a husband first? Haha.

For now, I'll just be jotting down my plans, ideas, thoughts, as I remember them. And write updates if I feel like it.

So here goes nothing...

***

I hope this isn't a jumble of words that doesn't make sense like how ideas in my brain are sometimes in a disordered state.